Sexuality counselor talks fetishes

Sexuality counselor Ian Kerner recently wrote on CNN.com that, due to his profession, people always ask him about the strange fetishes and passions that couples have had, and what the weirdest one was. He explains that most of the problems he deals with are run-of-the-mill sexual health issues – from "mismatched" libidos to premature ejaculation. 

The small percentage of people who do seem to have a hardcore preference for certain routines in the bedroom are more often men than women. "That’s not to say that women lack their own unique turn-ons and turn-offs," Kern writes, "nut when it comes to, say, having a favorite fantasy versus having an obsession in which all sexual pleasure is almost exclusively derived from a single object, body part or sex practice, more men seem to fall in the latter category."

It's not necessarily the fetish that's interesting, but how these quirky preferences develop in the first place. Kerner states that many psychologists believe that there is some kind of early "imprinting" that occurs in childhood that sets the bar for sexual activity later in life.

Couples are generally torn between trying to suppress the fetish itself or adapt to it.

"If people are disturbed by them, they could explore what the unconscious interpretation of the fetish is for them. Then they can experiment with another representation of that meaning that they can then assign erotic feelings," writes Dr. Madeleine Castellanos, according to Kerner.

The bottom line is that, as long as both partners are ready to accommodate each other, then there shouldn't be a problem. Open communication can be the key to making sure that everyone is safe, comfortable and fulfilled. Just remember – whatever you happen to prefer in the bedroom – it's always wise to use a condom to avoid the risk of common STDs and other serious diseases, according to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.  

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