Sometimes when you’re single, it’s nice to have a friend or two with whom you can get intimate, no strings attached. However, this can lead to an awkward situation when you meet someone you are romantically interested in and decide to take the monogamy route. Here are some tips on how to gracefully tell a “special friend” that his or her benefits have been revoked.
Stop the sex
Once you make the decision to end the hookup, stick with it. This may mean you have to ignore a few text messages or phone calls from your former sex partner, but that’s all right, provided it doesn’t go on too long. Stringing your fling along is unfair and only puts off the inevitable. But if you give in and decide to get freaky one last time, you’ll only end up confusing your buddy, while possibly jeopardizing your new romantic relationship. Take some time to think about what you need to say, then contact your bedroom pal yourself.
Have a conversation
You may be used to only talking about sex with your special friend, but this occasion calls for a different tactic. When you get in touch with your buddy, instead of heading over to his or her apartment, suggest
going out for a drink or a meal. In this neutral, non-sexual environment, let him or her know how much fun it’s been getting together, but that you’ve met someone new. Be reassuring, and tell your pal that it had nothing to do with the quality of sex you were having together, but rather that you think you are ready for a monogamous relationship – with someone else. Stay positive and you should avoid any awkward
Decide on the friendship
Once you’ve had this talk, you’ll be ready to discuss whether or not you want to keep the friendship. Think back over the sessions you shared with your friend with benefits. Would he or she call while in the mood? Would you leave after you both finished? If so, then it may be time to call it quits – no friendship can last if good sex is the only thing you have in common. However, if this person was someone you had fun with even when you weren’t between the sheets, then you may want to try and salvage the friendship.
Make sure you’re clean
There’s one more step you need to take to make sure you are free of your former hookup and ready to move on to your new partner. Though the sex is over, any sexually transmitted infections you picked up during your single days may linger. That’s why it’s important to go to a sexual health clinic regularly to get checked out, and always wear a condom, even when you’re in a monogamous relationship. Starting out a new relationship by giving your lover an STD will definitely be a roadblock, so play it safe and smart.