As we age, our bodies change, so it makes sense our sexuality is affected as well. A commonly held notion is that people are less inclined to engage in intimate activities as they grow older, but this is simply not the case. Dr. Marty Klein, a renowned sex and relationship therapist, as well as an acclaimed author, explained to The Daily Mail how people should adapt their behaviors to be more age-appropriate. This doesn’t necessarily mean toning things down in the bedroom or altering the person you are. Rather, Klein emphasizes the importance of “sexual intelligence,” a term he uses to refer to the ideas we hold about ourselves and what turns us on.
Life rarely slows down once you reach adulthood, and daily life can get increasingly hectic, especially if you decide to have kids. This leaves far less room for the spontaneous sex you may have had in the beginning of your relationship. Rather than waiting for the rare window of opportunity to open, you and your husband or wife should make room in your schedule for some intimate time. Even if you decide not to get down and dirty, sometimes just making time for each other can be enough.
It can be extremely vexing if your lover is not in the mood when you are, but it is important not to get frustrated with him or her. Anything from an upset stomach to a stressful work project can preoccupy your lover enough that sex is that last thing on his or her mind. Bear in mind you’ve probably had times you weren’t really up for sex either, so don’t get angry with your partner.
If you’re the one saying no, don’t forget your lover might feel as equally rejected as you may have when he or she refused your advances last time. Rather than just abruptly turning down an offer for sex, Klein suggests offering your lover a rain check or explaining why you aren’t quite in the mood.
Flirting can go a long way toward getting in the mood for a little hanky panky. If you have plans with your husband or wife to do the horizontal mambo, try talking about sex beforehand. Get each other worked up with a bit of flirtation, or send each other suggestive texts while you’re at work. Just be careful you don’t accidentally send anything naughty to your entire address book.
Be prepared at all times, even if you’re planning sex dates, and have a fully stocked selection of condoms ready to go. You might also want to get some personal lubricant, or even try a fun vibrating ring or a personal massager. Trying something new can definitely restore a bit of the spontaneity from years past.