Do you have a type? Some of us prefer the tall and slender, others like a robust lover, and some people claim to have no preference at all. There’s a fine line between having standards and being overly picky, and sometimes focusing on a specific type can severely limit your options.
Lots of people have had the experience of going on a first date and enjoying a companion’s conversational skills, sense of humor and wit, but feeling less than turned on in the physical attraction department. In such scenarios, it’s up to you to decide if your new lover’s looks are a deal breaker or something to work through.
This is a delicate subject, so above all else, tread lightly. It may be best to confide in a close friend about your concerns. Creating a list of pros and cons about your date’s traits can be helpful as well. When the list is drawn up, weigh the benefits and drawbacks and see if his or her good qualities are enough to make the less savory attributes worth ignoring.
It’s never a good idea to force someone to change against his or her will in order to suit your needs, but it might be wise to see if your new “special friend” is up for a lifestyle alteration. For instance, suppose your date makes you laugh easily, but her personal hygiene could use some work. Having a frank, honest and positive conversation about the benefits of keeping clean could prompt her to change.
Of course, there are some places where you simply must draw the line. For instance, if your dream man refuses to buy condoms and use them every time he has sex, then it may be best to walk away. Using protection is a way to show that you care about your lover’s physical well-being – a trait that is an essential part of any healthy relationship.
If you do decide to ask your partner to make a change, it’s wise to be prepared to make some switches on your side of things as well. You may think you’re an ideal partner, but everyone has their personal set of preferences, including your new lover. If he or she wants to try out something new in bed, like using flavored condoms or partaking in prolonged foreplay sessions, keep an open mind, and remember that relationships are all about give and take.