You dress your best, flirt like crazy, bat your eyes at passersby and even log on to dating websites, but no matter what you try, you can’t seem to land a second date. This can be frustrating, and sometimes, you may have no idea why you can’t bag a guy or gal for dinner and a movie. If you’re sitting around scratching your head, trying to figure out what makes you Mr. or Mrs. Wrong, then you might want to consider some of these possibilities.
You’re a bit of a snoozefest
When you’re courting that special someone, do you find yourself telling the same story over and over again? Do you have a stock group of topics that are always up for discussion on a first date? If so, it may be your old material that’s holding you back. Sure, during a first date or when initially meeting someone, it’s OK to talk about yourself a bit, but it’s also a time to showcase what makes you fiery.
Solution: Give up the story about how you traveled abroad your sophomore year, and replace it with a tale that truly is unique to you. You may want to practice telling this story in the mirror, and setting a time limit to stop yourself from rambling on. While you’re add it, why not add some excitement to your bedroom repertoire with some pleasure condoms?
You’re a victim of the rumor mill
Maybe your lack of a date can be attributed not to something you’re doing wrong, but something you’ve done wrong. Think back to your past experiences. Have you wronged a loud mouth ex? Did you maybe give your former lover an STD? If so, these old actions may be coming back to haunt you, transforming you from a one-time sex magnet to a total singleton.
Solution: Change your ways! There’s only one way to kill a rumor, and that’s by proving the opposite is true. If you know you did something wrong in the past, it may be time to wrack up some karma points by volunteering or doing something else to give back. If you happened to spread an STD at some point, remind yourself how to use a condom and make sure you practice safe sex every time.
You’re subconsciously sabotaging yourself
Paging Dr. Freud. Perhaps the reason you don’t end up snagging any dates is because you, yourself, secretly don’t want to end your single days. Sometimes, we can send subconscious signals to those we meet that cue them into our inner desires – and fears. Maybe, while you think you’re turning on the charm for a new guy or gal, you’re actually sending a big message that says, “Leave me alone!”
Solution: Take some time for self reflection. If your subconscious truly is sabotaging you, maybe now is the time to embrace your single lifestyle. If not, try to figure out what it is you’re doing that’s sending the wrong signal, and spend some time taking care of it.
Your manners need an update
Sometimes, a first date or encounter can be going well, until a person’s true colors come shining through in the form of pure etiquette. There are a few small actions that can have big, negative consequences – chewing with your mouth open, interrupting your date or focusing on your cell phone are all quick ways to end any chance of a second date.
Solution: Take some etiquette lessons. You don’t have to enlist in some hoity-toity school to wise up on manners. Instead, tap your well behaved friends who always seem to get dates, and ask them for advice.