You’ve been thinking about it nonstop for weeks, and now you’re sure you’re ready – it’s time to end the relationship. Sometimes, telling someone that you want to start seeing other people is even more painful than getting dumped yourself, but there are ways to go about it and still hold your head high. Bringing a graceful end to your relationship often depends on how long you’ve been together, so here’s a guy’s guide for dumping your girl.
Ending it after a few dates
If you’ve only gone on a few dates with a girl, but you know you don’t want to see her anymore, then the task at hand isn’t too painful. It’s typically best to take the Band-Aid approach – end it quickly and in a straightforward manner. This means that the next time you see her (no, you can’t text message breakup, even if it’s only been a few dates) you should tell her that you’ve enjoyed the dates, but that you think you’d prefer to move on. You don’t need to spend hours explaining why you’re choosing to end things – chances are that your chemistry just doesn’t match up, which is a perfectly acceptable answer to the question, “Why is it over?”
If you’ve been sexually active with this person, the first thing you’ll want to do once you’ve cut ties is get tested. Sleeping with someone who you don’t know very well increases your risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections, so before you go on a date with someone new, do yourself a favor and pay a visit to the clinic.
Ending it after a few months
After you’ve spent a few months together, it’s definitely going to be harder to break things off. After all, if it was simply a matter of chemistry, you wouldn’t have lasted this long in the first place. At this point, you’ll need to spend some time reflecting and figuring out exactly why you decided to end things. Has there been too much drama? Do you miss your single days? Are things not working out in the sack?
As you consider these questions, try to think of the kindest way to discuss them, as they’ll likely come up during “the conversation.” For instance, if you aren’t compatible in bed, you may find yourself talking about sex. If you go about it the right way, you may be able to give your soon-to-be-ex comforting answers, but be prepared to hear some feedback from her as well – getting dumped never feels good and can make tempers flare.
Ending it after a few years
If you’ve been together for more than a year, it’s going to be painful to end things – that’s pretty much a guarantee. This person has been your partner and probably your best friend for some time, and telling them you want to change all that will be tough. The name of the game here is respect – you’ve loved this person and you should let them know that. You’ve probably had lots of good times together, and that’s something that’s important to emphasize. You owe it to them to give them an explanation, but be gentle with your wording. If you still want to be friends with the person, let them know that, but accept that it’s probably best for both of you to have some space until the wounds have healed.